Pandemic Unemployment Assistance
The psychological effects of the economic shutdown of non-essential workers
I wrote this during the middle of the lockdown period in Summer 2020, ya’ll!
You know, I feel like I’m a certified Leftist. And I don’t mean the finger wagging Cancel Culture Everyone Should Be Using the Same Bathroom Aspirational Diversity Sort. Though I’m also that. I’m talking about the Kill Your Enslavers Seize the Means of Production Sort.
So, I find myself inside the very likes of a pandemic. Every part of the industry that I work in has shut down.
And your friendly neighborhood Federal Government has robbed from the printing presses and given to the me some assistance in the form of total wage replacement. One of the ideas, allegedly, was to encourage people to stay home. Which is a weird conceit considering I didn’t have a choice. But, I don’t have to worry about money for a few months now instead of going through all my savings.
Frankly, I don’t know how everyone else fared in this situation. I work in a crazy field in a crazy city with crazy people. It’s the kind of trifecta that allows someone like me to even attempt a living at this. But I know that while I was waiting inside my apartment other people that’d I never met before were delivering me Chicken Korma. And I’m getting paid to stay home.
But here’s the point. Not that I don’t want that to be the point. But the point is, I got paid to do nothing. And normally I have to do that for free.
But here’s the other point. I didn’t do nothing! Haha Federal Government! I did stuff! And I did that stuff out of 100% pure, unadulterated, gender fluid, macro-economic, gold leafed whimsy! I played my guitar hours a day. I drew pictures. I learned how to solve a Rubik’s Cube in under two minutes. I road a bike around town, at night, with my friends from the neighborhood (masked). I went for a walk. I watched Star Wars. I turned off Star Wars after I got to the Cantina scene and remembered why I hadn’t watched Star Wars in years. I spent a week trying to see that damn comet! Where was it? South by Southwest right before dawn? Why does everyone on Reddit have amazing photos of it from New York City and I can’t see it? I LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY!
Anyway, you know when was the last time I lived like that? When I was, like, 13. And look, I had a fucking job when I was 13 and it wasn’t a paper route. But, that was a very typical Summer. And that was a Summer I hadn’t had in 30 years. But I had it! This fucking Summer!
And it wasn’t just me!
We had a huge tropical storm blow through and it knocked out power for tons of people for weeks. For some reason, we were unaffected while our neighbors two blocks away were out. So, while we were riding we go through a couple of private blocks with houses and yards and stuff. And they’re all out, too! And it’s quiet and dark. And we’d bike by these houses with only starlight to light the way, and there’d be these bonfires going, and kids, adults, dogs, around the fire talking and laughing and singing. Like, what the fuck is that? It’s a total blackout. No internet. No phones. No TV. No light. And we’re all just having the time of our lives.
But, who’s this new guy who just delivered my Chicken Korma?
I keep hearing this argument when people talk about Universal Basic Income. And it goes something like this: If you just give people money it will disincentive them to work. Now, the Leftist in me harumphs and shakes my fist and frowns. People find meaning in work. They won’t stop working! That’s what I tell everyone. But inside, I’m like, “They’re right!” Because I’m looking at a second wave and probably another shutdown and I’m like, fucking bring it on! Work sucks! Who the fuck wants to work?! Interrobang?! I’m going to order another Chicken Korma!
I feel like that’s the punchline. It would be comedy to finish right there. But, the thing is, someone is bringing me that Chicken Korma. And, honestly, am I getting more money than he is while I re-watch The Expanse while playing Fortnite with my seven year old nephew? What kind of assistance is he getting aside from a one time $1200 payment?
And I suppose the reality is my situation is temporary. But, it’s not really temporary for him. I get to take a break and he never stopped. And he never got any extra money. And he’s exposing himself to everyone. And he’s exposing everyone.
I mean, this guy deserves something, right? Doesn’t he?
Like, every night at 7pm everyone hung out their windows and banged pots and yelled to celebrate “essential workers.” Nobody celebrated me while woke up in a drug fueled haze wondering where all the ice cream went. But I was getting cold hard cash.
Maybe the problem here isn’t that we didn’t help people more or soon enough or whatever is Trump’s fault or Pelosi’s fault or the so-called Squad. Maybe the problem is that we didn’t help enough of the right people. Because they had to go to work. And why help people who must go to work because the economy and our ability to keep ourselves healthy and alive depends on them?